CITIZENS RALLYING FOR CHANGE ON ALCOHOL

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WHAT CAN A PARENT DO TO HELP THEIR ALCOHOL/DRUG USING CHILD

As much as parents may not like to think about it, the truth is that many kids and teens try alcohol during their high school and college years, long before it's legal for them to drink it. Research has shown that nearly 80% of high school kids have tried alcohol.

Although experimentation with alcohol can be common among kids, it's not safe or legal. So it's important to start discussing alcohol use and abuse with your kids at an early age and keep talking about it as they grow up.

Teaching Kids to Say "No"

Teach kids a variety of approaches to deal with offers of alcohol:

Encourage them to ask questions. If a drink of any kind is offered, they should ask, "What is it?" and "Where did you get it?"
Teach them to say "no, thanks" when the drink offered is an alcoholic one.
Remind them to leave any uncomfortable situation. Make sure they have money for transportation or a phone number where you or another responsible adult can be reached.
Teach kids never to accept a ride from someone who has been drinking. Some parents find that offering to pick up their kids from an uncomfortable situation — no questions asked — helps encourage kids to be honest and call when they need help.

Risk Factors

Times of transition, such as the onset of puberty or a parents' divorce, can lead kids to alcohol use. So teach your kids that even when life is upsetting or stressful, drinking alcohol as an escape can make a bad situation much worse.

Kids who have problems with self-control or low self-esteem are more likely to abuse alcohol. They may not believe that they can handle their problems and frustrations without using something to make them feel better.

Kids without a sense of connectedness with their families or who feel different in some way (appearance, economic circumstances, etc.) may also be at risk. Those who find it hard to believe in themselves desperately need the love and support of parents or other family members.

In fact, not wanting to harm the relationships between themselves and the adults who care about them is the most common reason that young people give for not using alcohol and other drugs.

Fortunately, parents can do much to protect their kids from using and abusing alcohol:

Be a good role model. Consider how your use of alcohol or medications may influence your kids. Consider offering only nonalcoholic beverages at parties and other social events to show your kids that you don't need to drink to have fun.
Educate yourself about alcohol so you can be a better teacher. Read and collect information that you can share with kids and other parents.
Try to be conscious of how you can help build your child's self-esteem. For example, kids are more likely to feel good about themselves if you emphasize their strengths and positively reinforce healthy behaviors.
Teach kids to manage stress in healthy ways, such as by seeking help from a trusted adult or engaging in a favorite activity.

Recognizing the Signs

Despite your efforts, your child may still use — and abuse — alcohol. How can you tell? Here are some common warning signs:

the odor of alcohol
sudden change in mood or attitude
change in attendance or performance at school
loss of interest in school, sports, or other activities
discipline problems at school
withdrawal from family and friends
secrecy
association with a new group of friends and reluctance to introduce them to you
alcohol disappearing from your home
depression and developmental difficulties

It's important not to jump to conclusions based on only one or two signs. Adolescence is a time of change — physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually. This can lead to erratic behavior and mood swings as kids try to cope with all of these changes.

If your child is using alcohol, there will usually be a cluster of these signs, like changes in friends, behavior, dress, attitude, mood, and grades. If you see a number of changes, look for all explanations by talking to your kids, but don't overlook substance abuse as a possibility.

Other tips to try:

Keep tabs on where your kids go.
Know the parents of your child's friends.
Always make sure you have a phone number where you can reach your child.
Have kids check in regularly when they're away from home.
When spending an extended length of time away from you, your child should check in periodically with a phone call, e-mail, or visit home.

For teens, especially those old enough to drive, consider negotiating and signing a behavioral contract. This contract should spell out the way you expect your child to behave and state the consequences if your teen drives under the influence. Follow through and take the keys away, if necessary.

Make part of the deal with your teen that you and the rest of your family also agree never to drink and drive. Also encourage responsible behaviors, such as planning for a designated driver or calling an adult for help rather than driving under the influence.

It's important to keep communication open and expectations reasonable. Tying responsible actions to freedoms such as a later curfew or a driver's license can be a powerful motivator. Teach your kids that freedom only comes with responsibility — a lesson that should last a lifetime.

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